The way the romantic couple communicates also becomes different: A couple in the integrating and bonding stages of a relationship may have their own names for things, inside jokes related to things and places, possibly even unique nicknames for each other. Good friends may have this too, but nicknames like “honey” “baby” and “sweetheart” usually are not given to friends. Two people in new relationships going through the intensifying stage may also take their romantic language above and beyond what is normal in an effort to impress the other person. Communication is a cornerstone of a friendship or a romantic relationship for the initiating and experimenting stages, but once the couple reaches the intensifying stage, the communication is unique to those in a romantic relationship.
Movie Example: 50 First Dates
While Henry gets the chance to work on his ability to attract Lucy day after day, the asymmetry between their experiences presents a problem. For Lucy, each day involves the initiating and experimenting stages of relational development. Henry is soon ready for the intensifying stage and beyond. To solve the problem, Henry creates videotapes for Lucy to watch first thing each morning to catch her up on the relationship. This allows them to begin each day at the intensifying stage, providing the opportunity to move on toward integrating.
